Self-Discipline

It seems trivial, but I get excited by little, everyday accomplishments. For example, last night I REALLY wanted a cookie, my sweet tooth bugging me. I had pulled out the chocolate chips and was getting ready to turn on the oven when I stopped myself. I thought, "I don't need these. Caroline doesn't need these. I have some dark chocolate squares in the fridge that I bought specifically for times like these when I had a craving for sweets. Eat a freakin' chocolate square, and go do your homework." So, I did just that, and I am thanking myself today because if I had made those cookies, I would have eaten even more of them today.

When I've been really focused on my health, it gets to a point that I don't have to think about things like this. I used to skip over sweets like it was nothing. I didn't need it, I hadn't had it in forever, it's almost like I had forgotten what those amazing cupcakes taste like, so I didn't desire them anymore. I didn't desire them so much that I would walk right by them when offered. I remember one time in particular when the whole family was home, and we had cupcakes in the house for some reason. Of course these weren't those crappy store bought cupcakes (I can always turn those down), these were homemade cupcakes. Five years ago, if there had been homemade cupcakes in the house they would have disappeared in a couple days, tops. This time in particular, those cupcakes were overlooked so many times that we had to throw some away because they went bad. I was so shocked when my mom threw them away. Things like that NEVER happened in my household, but this time it had.

For me, self discipline is something I have to learn and practice every single day. If I go off course just once, I often find myself spiraling off in the wrong direction. I have found that my self discipline is at its best when I do the same thing and eat the same thing every single day, no exaggeration. I get used to a certain schedule and certain meals. It makes grocery shopping easy because I eat the same amount of everything every single week. Luckily, I don't often get tired of the same kind of food. I could eat an egg sandwich for breakfast every day for the rest of my life. No really, I LOVE egg sandwiches. Ask my mom, she thinks it's weird and boring.

In an effort for self discipline, but avoidance of monotony, Caroline convinced me to try this recipe for an avocado and asparagus egg sandwich. I have to say, it was pretty delicious...

Today is for Me

When I started this, I said that this was my place to document how things are going, my feelings, etc., etc. So, I'm going to do that today. Today is for me.

It is now November and still nothing. I have had many jobs interviews and applied for a countless number of positions, and still nothing. I've reached out to contacts, sought advice wherever I can get it, re-worked my resume all in the hopes that something would come along. I finally understand what so many people are going through. The immense frustration that comes with hours of searching and chatting and paperwork, and still nothing to show for it except an empty wallet. Maybe I'm lucky - I'm a student so I have my studying to distract me from the job hunt, but I can't get over it. I never thought it would be me in this position. I can feel the toll it is taking on my life - my physical and mental well-being, my relationships, my schedule, my actions. My workouts are a big part of what keep me going, and even those have suffered in the wake of midterms.

I know this is just one small time period in my life. I know I will get through this, and that in just a couple of years I will look back on this time and be so glad I made it through. But right now, in this moment I am frustrated, upset, exhausted, and an emotional wreck. Right now, I want to throw in the towel. But, I won't. I'll keep applying and studying and going to the gym. And hopefully, one of these days the right opportunity will come along.

Making My Week Easier

I have always been pretty good about buying my fruits and veggies, but actually getting them all eaten? Before the go bad? Now that, for some reason is a lot harder for me to do. This is something I have "struggled" with for many years. I do everything right at the grocery store - I buy all the right foods, and I have my meals planned out. But, when it comes time to actually eat those fruits and veggies, actually take the time to cut them up and make them into a meal...that's where I normally flake out, and end up just grabbing something on my way home from class. 

Now, I've known the right solution for a while now, and I've even practiced it in some cases. Whenever I have a melon cut up in the fridge, or some leftover fruit that's all ready to go, it gets eaten because it's so easy to just grab it from the fridge an go. So, about a week and half ago when Caroline and I did our grocery shopping, we came home and cut up everything that we could - got everything ready to go. Here is a run-down of what we did.

Filled the sink with water and 1/4-1/2 cup of white vinegar. Washed veggies and fruit in water-vinegar mixture before chopping it up.

• broccoli - cut into florets and placed in an air-tight container
• celery - stalks cut into thirds, thirds cut in half, placed upright in air-tight container with 1/2 inch of water in the bottom
• carrots - cut into thirds, thirds cut in quarters, placed upright in air-tight container with 1/2 inch of water in the bottom
• parsnips - cut into thirds, thirds cut in quarters, placed upright in air-tight container with 1/2 inch of water in the bottom
• onions - chopped and placed in ziploc bag
• bell peppers - chopped into strips and placed in ziploc bag
• asparagus - end snapped off, placed into air-tight container with 1/2 inch of water in the bottom (no lid)
• melons - cut and placed into air-tight container

I know it may not seem worth it, it really isn't THAT much produce, and it takes a lot of time, but it is so worth it. I can honestly say that there were multiple times over the past week and a half where I didn't want to cook dinner, and just wanted to order a pizza. Having all the veggies ready to go was often what caused me to go ahead and cook. A hand-full of broccoli, some olive oil, salt and pepper, and just throw it in the oven!

Puppies and Parents

My parents came to visit this past weekend, and of course the puppies came along!

I say puppies, these guys aren't really puppies anymore. We got to take them for a long walk on the beach Sunday morning - Duke, the grey one really didn't like the water, and Sasha, the brown one just wanted to chase all the birds. She mostly drug me down the beach in an attempt to get the birds. We had a nice weekend, watched the A&M football game on Saturday, and just kinda relaxed on Sunday. We went to the RV before they left this morning, and were going to take the dogs on another walk on the beach, but it was raining way too much, we couldn't get Sasha to leave the warm RV. So, we had breakfast, helped them pack up and saw them off before Caroline and I went home to get back to the school grind.

I know I haven't been good about updating for a while now, but I have been keeping up the gym time, and I've been taking pictures, see! A new season of the Biggest Loser started last week, and I don't know why, but that show really motivates me to go to the gym. It's like, "Hey, those people are working out. I really need to too..." Whatever the case, I got in some gym time, and I'm already excited to see who wins this season of the Biggest Loser!

Caroline and I have also been cooking some delicious meals. Caroline has been making these great salads, and making them really convenient for us. She cuts up all the veggies (except lettuce) for a particular type of salad and puts them in a mason jar. Then when you are ready to eat, all you have to do is put a couple cups of lettuce in a bowl, pour the jar of veggies on top, and toss with your favorite salad dressing! I really like it because I love salads, but they take FOREVER to make when you have to chop up all those darn vegetables. This makes it infinitely faster, thanks Caroline!

*Tip: Caroline takes one an hour a week to put together these jars. She normally watches some TV from the kitchen while she is dicing and slicing. Taking that time on Sunday or Monday makes eating healthy SO much easier for the rest of the week!*

Banana Blueberry Pancakes

Here they are! I made these pancakes for Caroline this morning, and we both enjoyed them. Big thank you to my boyfriend's mom for getting me to try these! I love, love, LOVE pancakes, so these are an awesome alternative. All it takes to make them is ripe bananas, eggs and blueberries, ingredients we have on hand almost all the time. And at 80-90 calories a piece, I don't feel bad at all eating 3-4 of them!

Banana Blueberry Pancakes

1 large ripe banana or 2 small ripe bananas
2 eggs
1/2 cup blueberries (adjust depending on your blueberry preferences)

Directions:

(1) Spray a large skillet with cooking spray, and pre-heat over medium heat.
(2) Slice banana into a bowl. Using a potato masher or fork, mash the banana into small pieces.
(3) Crack eggs into the bowl with the bananas, and use the potato masher to mix the eggs into the banana until combined.
(4) Fold blueberries into the banana and egg mixture.
(5) Pour half of the mixture into the skillet into two round pancakes. Cook for 3-4 minutes on each side. Recipe should make 4 pancakes.

I like mine with a little bit of maple flavored agave nectar, yum!

Fairly Healthy Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

I was craving oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, so with the help of Pinterest I made these. They are delicious, and Caroline agrees!

Fairly Healthy Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

3/4 cup oat flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

1/8 tsp ground cinnamon

1 cup raw walnuts

1 & 1/2 tbsp melted coconut oil (zap in microwave for 20-30 seconds to melt)

1/2 cup maple flavored agave nectar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup rolled oats

3/4 cup semisweet or dark chocolate chocolate chips

Directions:

(1) Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

(2) In a mixing bowl, whisk together oat flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.

(3) Place walnuts in a food processor and grind into a fine meal. Add coconut oil, maple flavored agave nectar and vanilla extract, and blend until the mixture resembles a natural nut butter.

(4) Stir walnut mixture into flour mixture until combined. Stir in rolled oats and chocolate chips until evenly combined.

(5) Place spoonfuls of dough on baking sheet, and slightly flatten.

(6) Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown.

(7) Cool on baking sheet for 5-10 minutes before eating.

*Tip: If you are like me and LOVE raw cookie dough, this is a fun one to munch on. Since these cookies don't contain eggs, you don't have to feel bad about snacking on some dough while you are baking!"

Crazy Week

You would think that as an unemployed student I would have more than enough time to work out every day, cook health meals, and post regularly. I suppose I am able to do all that normally, but last week was entirely too busy for any of that!

My week included class, two group project meetings, finishing and turning in a team charter for a group project, two internship interviews, visiting the boyfriend over the weekend, lots of homework and studying, and LOTS of driving. This meant a couple of unplanned fast food means (uh-oh!) and not nearly enough working out. I try to keep reminding myself that these things happen, that I'm going to have weeks like this, and bad weeks are my motivation to work extra hard the next week.

Luckily, I'm still feeling good, and it's "next week", so I'm starting off strong. I got in my workout today - it really felt great to be back in the gym, and this week isn't going to be too busy, so I will have plenty of time to focus on myself.

Worked out today wearing the Texas A&M - Kingsville Javelinas Under Armor shirt the boyfriend got for me, I love it!

I found my favorite new breakfast item while I was visiting my boyfriend this weekend. Blueberry pancakes made with just bananas, eggs and blueberries! I had heard about this from a friend, and had seen the recipe on Pinterest, but was kinda skeptical that it actually worked. I was finally able to try one this weekend and they were awesome! I think I will make some for Caroline tomorrow, and will post the recipe and pictures after.

Breakfast: egg sandwich on an english muffin, mango, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and banana

Workout: 30 minutes on the elliptical

Lunch: smoothie, Caroline made it, so I'm not sure what was in it, but it was good, and Toasty peanut butter crackers

Dinner: broiled chicken with fennel, bell peppers and onions, and quinoa